Let’s go straight to the core. Although you don’t want, you find yourself in the confrontation. Firstly what could happen, that you feel confused. If ‘yes’, instinctively we choose two possible reactions, fight or flight. Both are part of defense mechanism. May be hard to keep a distance from all emotions, but there are many strategies how to prevent it, how to be one step back before something happens. This is called predicted behavior and is based on conscious observation. Instead of waiting at the random reaction and that’s how to be surprised, you will direct your behavior how would you like. Does it sound good? One approach is rooted in mindfulness, and another describes two opposite personalities. I think most of you knows something about Mindfulness and if not, I believe that some useful explanations are on DVD “The Foundations of Mindfulness“. Okay but here we have space for an explanation of possible circumstances and how to cope with them.
When you start to feel the confusion, is very good to establish distance from the situation. You can ask yourself: “Why this is important to me?” or “Will I be happier, if I’ll do something with that?” or “How this could help me in what I want?” and the like. This is a process of desensitization. Also, is useful consciously make something seemingly big as something small. By focusing on each detail that one big piece will be in unlimited numbers of small pieces.
For instance, when someone said something inappropriate, you can notice the following details: Whether these words he or she says often, and regardless of whom. Where you are and how did you feel 5 minutes ago. What dress you have right now, etc.
If you created distance, emotional impulse should be weaker. So you should be able to make a decision what is an appropriate reaction.