For those who has not been bullied ever I have a story. The story is about a boy in his 9 years old. He has been bullied for very long time, he doesn’t remember when and why it was the first time, but he is constantly in fear. When somebody looks at him, first what he thinks of is that something is wrong with him or with him. That’s only way how he can perceive outer world. Reasons are many. He doesn’t trust in self, why is that? He feels hopelessness, whenever he tried to open, it ended up with disappointment, although attempt for help was according to best conscience. The state of mind this boy has is hypersuggestible, he is in continual “fight & flies” defense mechanism. Is hard for him to believe that the way how he feels in self can be changed. Is very hard provide any form of help, because he is scared of any publicity, that when more is advertised about possible help, more he is scared to do anything for change and use this help. That’s why is more important invite of everybody to being aware the situation in which they can provide protection. If it’s hard, because your own feelings doesn’t give you a space to do anything, if you can, do not transfer your feelings to the child.
Next thing is that child is very perceptive when something is happening inconsistently. This is for instance lengthy problems between parents, in this case, child is in role of identified patient, unfortunately is indirectly blamed from mistakes of the other parent, a child is so temporarily as communication channel between parents which awakens feeling of the illusive solution.
For this situation is necessary gradually work with all members in family if possible. Think about what if in fact child is reacting on a family situation, in intimate area of his life?
The child instinctively knows that parents are the closest one, so when this relation is impaired, for child is then hard to create trust, whether with his peers or with adults. So the moment when relationship became inconsistent, was the way to impair the trust subconsciously, that was the beginning.
Continue in this topic is better to talk personally, every case has different conditions and should be treated individually with it.