Imagine the situation when you passed through something what wasn't pleasant. Maybe it was unpredictable and intense. But do you remember, what reaction did you have afterwards? How did you feel? Here comes fact that naturally is not intention to have an unpleasant feeling. That's why we tend to say "All bad is for something good" or "It helped me to understand," etc. This is basically what we call the unconscious strategy of coping, which is included in defense mechanism, why is this? First should be said that this reaction is often at so-called emotional personalities and it's reaction to uncontrollable situation. But usually after state of denial follows acceptance, and that unfortunately sometimes takes a very long time to reach this state. So is more likely that we stay at stage of denial for many years.
It is natural, what's wrong with it?
I wouldn't say, that something is wrong. Much more importantly is the strategy how to get to the acceptance, although it is natural be in the first stage of loss. First of all, express own feelings. Sometimes this could be hard, but what is easier than express own feelings through creativity. Don't worry that you are not artist, that you don't know how draw the picture or play on piano, idea is that what you are creating, is what you feel and no matter what is result. Release long accumulated tension as physical even mental is possible with exercises. When you will make exercise, some amount of endorphins is released, and you will have chance to compare difference between feelings before and afterwards. Maybe you'll realize, that feeling of inner self before exercise was with some kind of the tension.
When you will make exercise, some amount of endorphins is released, and you will have chance to compare difference between feelings before and afterwards. Maybe you'll realize, that feeling of inner self before exercise was with some kind of the tension. Anyway with intentional relaxations, you will gain back your space, you will be able to express your feelings. For some of you, express own feelings is not something what is forbidden, and we talk about those which are intentionally held inside. Ideally is happening that your feelings are as if you were watching the screen in the cinema. So you can see what you do and feel from the position of observer. Second solution is ask for help, talk about feeling is different than think about it. Often solution could be that thanks to talking is possible to gain better understanding and thus relief.
Alright, but in which situation this can happen?
Here are some possible examples:
- When somebody passes away
- When you are so-called identified patient
- When you are feeling rejected
- When despite your effort not happen what you want (rejection)
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